Last month I wrote a post called ”When God Answers.” It was, in essence, about a question I had posed to God and how he answered it…or I thought he answered it. I was having second thoughts over a birth control implant, called Implanon, that I had gotten. After having a DVT in my tenth pregnancy and being on blood thinning injections throughout my entire eleventh pregnancy, my doctors sufficiently scared me into it.
I prayed that God would give me a clear answer regarding whether I should have it removed. A week later, I went to the ER with pain in my right calf. There was no DVT there, just some superficial clots, but they did find a newly formed DVT behind my right knee…a place where I never experienced any pain.
I took this as God’s answer to my prayers- I still do- but I know now that I was completely wrong in my interpretation of it. You see, I so wanted, out of fear, for His answer to be, ”Yes, Shelly, you did the right thing,” that I believe I took His response and conformed it to mean what I wanted it to. Here is what I assumed: God had led me to the hospital as soon as this clot had formed to save my life and to warn me that this is what would happen in any future pregnancies. I truly did believe that, so I was at peace with my decision.
Until someone pointed out that one of the effects of Implanon is that it prevents implantation. I don’t know about you, but, to me, that’s abortion. I denied it at first. I told myself that the woman who told me this was misled, but I decided to research it anyway.
Not only was she right, but a rare side effect of Implanon is blood clots! I got another DVT two months after I had it implanted! I told myself that this was God’s way of telling me that I did the right thing, but I now know that this blood clot was probably caused by the Implanon! That was my answer, and I got it completely wrong!
To make matters worse, the reason I agreed to get this implant was because a. The doctor told me this would not increase my risk of blood clots and b. I had told my doctor that I didn’t want an IUD because they prevent implantation, and I’m pro-life (obviously, I have 11 kids), but she conveniently omitted the fact that Implanon does, too!
I’m furious that my doctor lied to me and put something in my body that goes against everything I believe in, and I’m furious with myself for not seeing this situation clearly from the beginning. I guess discernment is something I still need to pray about.
Next week, I have an appointment to have this thing removed. I was literally sick to my stomach when I found all this out and waiting this long makes it even worse. I’m not looking forward to going there because I know that my doctor is going to give me a hard time, and she will badger me about alternative methods. Suffice it to say, this will be my last appointment there.
The point of this post is to plead with you to listen objectively and wholeheartedly when you’re waiting for an answer from God, and never, ever, assume your doctor will voluntarily give you information you haven’t specifically asked for. Unfortunately, we can’t even trust them anymore.
On a final note, if you’ve decided to peruse my archives to read the original post, I’ve deleted it. I don’t want to mislead anyone else into thinking that this was God’s will for me. It was mine.
Have you ever misinterpreted God’s will, only to discover it later in a big way?