In our eight years of homeschooling, I’ve noticed that there are a large number of people who put those of us who educate our own children up on a pedestal:
You’re amazing!
You’re a superhero!
You must have superhuman patience!
You must be so organized!
You must be Mother of the Year!
As much as I’d love to take the credit for all of those things, there’s just one problem…
None of that is true.
Although it is pretty nifty to hear all those wonderful things about homeschool parents, I’m beginning to believe that these ideas are what may be keeping a great many parents who are interested in homeschooling from ever actually doing it.
So, today, I’ve decided that I’m going to spill the beans about what this homeschool mom is really like in order to encourage anyone who thinks that they don’t have what it takes, that anyone- I mean anyone- who loves their children and really wants homeschooling to work, can do it, and can do it successfully.
No super powers required.
Why You Don’t Have to Be a Superhero to Homeschool
I think the easiest way for me to tackle this head-on is just going to be to address all of the comments I listed above that homeschool moms often hear from well-meaning people, so I’ll begin with the first one:
You’re amazing!
Actually, I’m not. At all. I get up after the kids, and even then I wish I could stay in bed for another two hours. I’m cranky in the morning, and I can’t function until I’ve had at least two cups of coffee. I don’t make breakfast, unless you count cereal and frozen waffles, and half the time my kids don’t have matching socks clean.
Amazing? Not quite.
You’re a superhero!
Umm.. I’m about as unsuperhero-like as they come. I’m self-conscious, which is why you’ll rarely find me in any photos here on my blog. I doubt myself constantly, and I get a little flustered when talking to people I don’t know well. I’m also an extremely nervous person. A worry-wart to the nth degree. Every time my kids leave the house, no matter where they’re going, I’m wringing my hands until they get back.
I don’t think a superhero would have those issues…
You must have super-human patience!
Have you seen my url? redheadmom8? And I’ve got the temper to prove it. Did you ever see those vines on Christian road rage? That’s me.
Everytime we watch this, my kids point at me. They know, too. (Okay, I’m not that bad, but I think you get the picture.)
And I’m an introvert with 11 kids. There are times- several times a week, actually- when I finally crack and send all the kids upstairs or outside so that I feel like I can actually breathe again.
Oh, I wish I had super-human patience.
You must be so organized!
Ha! That one gets a belly laugh from me. Okay…I try to be organized. I really do. I have crates for each group of kids’ school work, I have daily schedules posted for my kids and myself, and I just started writing out meal plans.
Unfortunately, that’s as far as it goes most of the time because everyday I’m still searching through all the crates for this child’s notebook or that child’s math book, and don’t even get me started on what happens to all of our pencils. If I actually went by our daily schedules I might actually wake up early enough to cook a good breakfast, and I might remember to tell my kids to get dressed everyday. As for the meal plan? I’m getting better, but we still have days where I throw out the meal plan and serve Corn Flakes, instead.
I’m telling you, it’s not pretty.
You must be Mother of the Year!
This one will be short and sweet because I think all of my earlier confessions completely throw this award out the window.
Maybe next year.
Here’s Why None of That Matters
By now you’re probably wondering how in the world I’m qualified to homeschool my kids, and I’m glad you asked. 🙂
You see, all of those faults work together for the good of our family and for the good of our homeschool.
My morning crankiness?
It gives my kids more time to relax in the morning before jumping into the school day. There’s a reason we don’t start until 10am!
My lack of breakfast preparation?
My 12 year old can now make pretty awesome pancakes and some mean quick bread.
My nervousness and self-consciousness?
It helps me to empathize with my kids when they feel that way. It enables me to be as diligent about their safety as possible without going overboard. And it holds me accountable for making sure I’m giving them the education they deserve.
My redhead temper?
Believe it or not, my patience grows more and more each year. Patience just isn’t something that comes naturally for some people- I’d say for most people. I think a big misconception of the population is that they could never homeschool because they’d never handle being with their kids that much. The truth is, the reason they have no patience with their kids is because they’re not with them enough. It seems contradictory, but it’s the truth. You can’t get used to being around someone who’s gone much of the time, can you?
My failed attempts at organization?
Well, since I often don’t remember to tell my kids to get dressed, I don’t need those matching socks, do I? 😉
All joking aside, this is one thing that I’m really working on, but my difficulties contain a lesson for the kids: Even moms have areas they need to work on, too.
Here’s what it comes down to:
There is no such thing as a homeschool supermom. Just like other parents, we’ve all got some strengths and a good number of weaknesses. But just like other parents, we do have one super power that is the only one necessary to do this thing called homeschooling:
An unfading, neverending love for our children.
If you’ve got that one covered, you have everything you need to homeschool.
Because that’s the only superpower that matters.
Thank you for your openness about your struggles as a homeschooler and a mom. I really struggle with the idea that I’m the minority in my weaknesses and everyone else has it all together. I don’t know why I feel this way, I was not raised that way and I have several close friends that are very open about their parenting struggles. It’s nice to have validation that we all have areas where we are strong and areas where we can improve.
I also like the idea of kids seeing your weaknesses and that it can be a learning area for the whole family.
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I feel the same way as you. I’ve always had somewhat of an inferiority complex- glad to know I’m not alone!
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My kids have literally laughed out loud (gasping, unable to catch their breath type of laughing) when people have said to me that I must have so much patience to be home with my kids all day. They know… I really don’t! However, I do seem to have more now and yell so much less than I did when we started on this journey 4 years ago!
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Isn’t it amazing how much our patience can grow?
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Thanks for the truth!! We need to see the warts and all. Thanks so much, for letting us into your life.
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I think these posts help more than they can hurt, right? 🙂
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Indubitably!
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I absolutely love this post! You are so right!
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It’s great that you are comfortable with who you are and what you do.
Thanks for sharing on #FridayFrivolity
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Believe me, I have my moments!
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EXACTLY!!!!
I always think the same things when people say “how can you be around your kids all day.” I truly don’t mind. There are many challenges, but so many joys and I get the honor of participating in both. Thanks…wonderful post
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So many challenges, yet so many joys- I love that!
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Excellent post! I am struck most by your comment that our perceived perfectness is stopping others from ever choosing homeschooling. I feel that God has taught me more spiritually than I have taught my kids educationally.
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Yes, you are so right. God’s ways are always amazing.
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I like your thought on spending more times with your kids actually increases your patience with them, instead of decreasing it. I agree! I think knowing our kids better and what makes them tick (as well as figuring out better ways of relating to them) helps us to be more kind, gentle, patient with them. Applies to homeschooling and non-homeschooling parents 🙂
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Absolutely!
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Thanks for sharing! I admit that sometimes I see those homeschoolers who have 6 hour school days and clean, put-together houses and I wonder what I’m doing wrong. You sound a lot like me and I only have one!
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I’m glad I’m not alone!
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Patience, ha! I always tell people I over utilize their rooms! They certainly saw a lot of them when they were younger and driving myself and each other batty!
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My kids are in their rooms quite a bit, too!
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I’ve got one of those red-headed tempers, too. It used to rare its ugly head a lot more when my boys were younger. But fortunately, with God’s help, it doesn’t show itself quite as often since my boys have made it through the tween years. 😉
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Yes, I’m amazed at how much my patience has grown over the years. As my pastor once said, “God grants us the capacity we need to do His will.”
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Oh my gosh…that road rage thing is hilarious! Where’d you learn to drive? Sodom and Gomorrah?!
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That guy is so funny!
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Hi Shelly,
thanks for your openness. I often look at other homeschooling moms and feel I’m lacking because I’m not able to do outings much or we don’t do much school at all and and… you get the idea 🙂 It’s great to see what’s on the ‘inside’ as opposed to just the exterior, the things we usually see. Also great point about our weaknesses being used for good!
Greetings from the Netherlands!
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