Enough with the Excuses! Do You Want to Homeschool or Not?

Stop making excuses about why you can't homeschool, and just do it!

Well, it’s been a while now since I’ve written any posts that will push people’s buttons, so I think it’s about time for another. It was good while it lasted, right?

If you are familiar with me at all, you’ll know that I am unapologetically pro-homeschooling, and the heart of this blog is really about encouraging people on their journey.

So while what I’m going to say today might offend some people, I’m going to say upfront that it isn’t intended that way. I’m just fully aware that there are some people (myself included) who sometimes simply refuse to do something they know they should unless someone prods them along. 

What's your excuse for not homeschooling?

Okay, here goes…

If you really want to homeschool, stop making excuses about why you can’t.

I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve had people tell me that they wish they could homeschool, but they can’t because(insert reason here).

Look, I know that the prospect of homeschooling can be a scary thing, but it’s time to take a step back and really consider what your child needs. I’ll admit that sometimes keeping your kids home can be pretty much impossible, but I’m also going to add that this is only true in a small amount of cases. The vast majority of people who want to homeschool really could with just a little bit of resourcefulness and a lot of courage.

Right now I’m going to look at two things- reasons people say that they want to homeschool, and their reasons for why that can’t happen. I’ll start with the first:

Common reasons people want to homeschool:

Those are some pretty serious reasons. How many times in the past couple years has a child committed suicide due to bullying? How many reports have you read about the uptick in school violence? And the swell of teachers seducing their students? Disgusting. Make no mistake that these are not superficial reasons. They are extremely valid.

Now let’s take a look at the most common reasons parents (who say they want to homeschool) decide not to do it:

Reasons People Say They Can’t Homeschool:

Let me briefly address the latter reasons first.

Financial Reasons

We are a family of 12 – 13 if you count our adult son – and we live on one income. A welder’s income, at that. So no, you don’t have to be wealthy. You need to know how to stretch a dollar, and you need to learn the difference between actual wants and needs, something I’m afraid many adults have some difficulty with today.

Additionally, if you absolutely cannot swing one income, there are so many working homeschool moms. It can be done.

Single Parent Families

Believe it or not, there are way more single parent homeschooling households than you would imagine. As with financial reasons, it takes some juggling, but it can be done, and it is.

Not Enough Time

Just because traditional schools take 6-8 hours a day doesn’t mean that homeschooling does. The average length of time for a homeschool is 2-4 hours a day.

Not Enough Patience

Believe me, I thought the same thing, but guess what? The more time you spend with your kids, the more your patience grows.

Not a Teacher

You don’t have to be! The traditional school setting is very different from a homeschool setting, so if you know how to learn alongside your kids, you’re hired!

Would Never Have Time to Themselves

Okay, this is a tough one. But if you have a child being bullied or having other difficulties at school, should this even be a reason? I’m going to say no.

Kids Would Drive Them Crazy

Oh, they might at first. Our society has been conditioned by compulsory schooling to be more comfortable when we’re not around our kids.

As with patience, though, you get used to being around your kids after a while. Give it time.

Can’t Afford to Buy Curriculum

Between the library and all of the amazing homeschooling resources available online, this simply should not be an issue.

Homeschooling can be frugal and even free!

Now that I’ve gone over these excuses, I need to point out the elephant in the room:

Are any of these excuses more important than your child? If your child is being beat up every day, how important is it that you can afford a second car? If your daughter is afraid to go to school because of the violence she faces, do you think it would be worth it to try to grow your patience so she could be home and safe?

The thing is, at some point you have to learn that homeschooling is about putting your child’s needs before your own.

That might sound harsh, but it’s the truth. Yes, homeschooling can be hard. Yes, it takes time. Yes, it will guarantee you won’t have much- if any- “me” time. Yes, it will mean that you may have to make some major lifestyle changes, but this is your child.

Your. child. Who is infinitely more important than money and comfort. Do we agree?

So when it comes down to it, at some point you have to stop hemming and hawing over the homeschooling issue. You either want to do it, or you don’t.

Now I’ll leave the rest to you.

If you’re looking for an encouraging and relaxed homeschooling community, join my FB group!

 

 

 

Author: Shelly Sangrey

I'm Shelly, a Christ-following, homeschooling Mom of eleven children ( okay, not ALL children. My oldest is 23.) I met my husband right after graduation, and we've been together ever since. Though my life can be hectic at times... okay, ALL the time, I wouldn't change it for anything.

24 thoughts on “Enough with the Excuses! Do You Want to Homeschool or Not?”

  1. Ugg! I am supporting a family that is starting their second year of homeschooling and have a child in middle school and another family who is just starting the homeschool journey in high school. It is night and day between the families. One is terribly eager to help their child and the other dreads every minute of it but sees the benefits. If I here one more time about a lack of me time… It drives me crazy.
    Blessings, Dawn

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Our primary reason for homeschooling initially was because of my daughter’s food allergies. She is contact allergic to dairy and allergic to eggs and beef. We wanted to keep her safe and didn’t want to battle a school. Now, the reasons we will continue to homeschool keep growing. We love the freedom!

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  3. People tell me all the time they would have no patience with their child(ren) if they homeschooled them and two moms with only their last kids at home told me they value their time alone too much. That felt like a put-down to me. I LOVE spending time with my kids! As soon as I realized homeschooling was an option, I wasted no time jumping aboard. I was not going to make my child suffer in a system that was not working for him any longer!

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      1. I feel the same, Shelly. I guess it’s because we have a different perspective on motherhood. We know our children aren’t going to stay little forever, that their childhood is only for a short season and we actually want to enjoy it with them!

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  4. Love this, love this, love this!!!
    I have loved every day the last 12 years of homeschooling my children and am so grateful and blessed that God pressed it on our hearts to homeschool.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Shelley, right on!! Our children are the most sacred responsibility we have!!
    Schools nowadays are just cesspools. I just read an article that a 5 yo “transitioned” into a girl, from a boy. And a classmate was sent to the office because she forgot to call him by his girl name. That outrages me!!
    God help our children!!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I can’t agree more. At first I was one of those moms who said,”I could never homeschool, I don’t have enough patience, organization, education, (insert reason)” But then we started having problems with Common Core. It soon became clear that homeschooling was our only sure option of getting out of the madness it caused. But found that as I stayed home and worked with my kids, my patience grew, I became more organized and prioritized better. On top of that I learned how to say “no” in a positive way to all the little projects that I didn’t have time for BEFORE we started homeschooling. Add to that my kids have learned how to do stuff for themselves including cooking, laundry, and other housework and still have time for school and extracurricular. On top of that there is the joy of learning along with my kids, learning things that I wasn’t taught, didn’t know in the first place. It has been a blessing to us to homeschool. We have learned so much more than just our lessons!

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    1. That’s how I was at first. I never thought I could handle homeschooling so many kids. (We had 6 kids when my son first asked me to homeschool him.) Now all these years later, I can’t imagine life any other way!

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  7. I had to say pretty much the same hung to a friend the other day. You were more eloquent, though! She had two girls getting bullied, beat up, ridiculed, etc. One was even beat up by a group of BOYS! And the school did nothing about it. What on earth is this world coming to? After years of listening to her excuses, I told her she called me for a reason and to put on her big girl pants and homeschool her girls. It’s not about her and her ability anymore. It’s about the kids and whether they are SAFE or not. It’s not an option.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just don’t get how people can continue to send their kids to a school where they know they are not safe. It really saddens me. I’m glad you spoke up. You did the right thing!

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  8. I just found your blog, so pardon my deluge of comments, but I read this one and it fired me up enough to comment here, too.

    The lack of “me time” is a very valid complaint if you are an introvert. I do NEED quiet time alone, and I will not apologize for the way God made me. Yes, I need it. It’s not a want. It’s not societal conditioning. It’s my personality which God gave me and has given millions of other introverted people as well.

    Extroverts typically put down introverts as if they are heartless and cruel for wanting to be alone. We aren’t. It doesn’t mean we don’t value our children. It’s just how we are wired. And while I understand that extroverts rarely understand it, it would be nice if they didn’t degrade us for it. We don’t degrade extroverts for the constant need to be around people! You don’t read blog posts dedicated to how selfish a person is for wanting friends! Being introverted is NOT a character flaw. I wish I could somehow pate this on a billboard and get it into people’s heads.

    That being said, I agree that introverts can swing it. I do. My husband has to tag team with me sometimes and get the kids out of the house on weekends or whatever, but we manage. We set strict bedtime rules. We have quiet time alone in our rooms. We work it out and we teach our kids (one of which is not at all introverted) that to exist peacefully among others, you need to respect one another’s wishes. That means no, you can’t barge in to mommy’s room when she’s taking time to herself. That means you aren’t allowed to sing and talk non stop. It’s not a lack of patience. It’s teaching our children that people are different and need you to love them in different ways. It’s learning about respect and thoughtfulness. It’s learning about God’s amazing variety and how we are all unique and precious in his sight.

    So, I agree that himeschooling can be done. However, the “how selfish to say you need time alone” boat foes not float with me. While you might not want to offend people, this blog post could ineed be offensive. Rather than insinuating that people don’t love their kids if they want to be alone frequently, maybe offer practical tips on dealing with the very real issue. That would be more helpful, I believe

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do want to say that I am an introvert, and I agree that we do need time alone. However, sending your kids to school doesn’t have to be the answer. There are ways around that, and, yes, there are alternatives. Since this post was about a number of things, getting into details about this is on my list of future posts. 😊

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      1. I also am an introvert. An introvert by definition is energized by quiet time. We shift our days so that once my husband goes to work at 7:00 I leave the kids in bed til 8:30 or until they wake up slightly before. For me that’s plenty of time to sit with the dog sipping my cup of coffee, reading my devotion or scripture and I find that a they grow into teens I don’t need as much as I did when they were younger. Now that they are teens they take off to go be with friends or they are in their own rooms reading the work or just listening to music, etc. They don’t need my attention as much as they did and while I still need my quiet time to energize, I get plenty of opportunities to have it.

        The very first year when my kids were in 2nd and 4th grade, my husband agreed to “give me a break” every Saturday afternoon. Once the kids had lunch, I would take off and go do something by myself. Sometimes it was a movie or a trip to starbucks, or just window-shopping when things were tight. Even just going to the library or bookstore and picking out some good books (and reading them there). We made it work and I think that’s the point of the article. If it is important to you, you will find a way to make it work. If it’s not important to you, if it’s just something you say to try to relate to your homeschooling friend, stop it. It’s annoying to us.

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