I live a pretty sheltered life. Between having such a large family and homeschooling, getting out and about is much more difficult for me than for most people. Church and grocery shopping are about the most socialization I get (and they call homeschooled kids unsocialized), and I don’t do social networking, so I’m not exactly up on the latest things. So when I started constantly hearing references to ”choosing a 2014 word,” I honestly had no clue what people were talking about. After a while, I figured it out, and I really wasn’t interested. Just a new way to say ”New Year’s resolution” which I always inevitably break anyway.
Imagine my surprise when, as I was reading yet another post about this subject, a word clearly popped into my head. Trust. Immediately thoughts began to flood my mind. Trust that God is in control. Trust in His provision. Trust that your children will learn what they need to learn. Just trust.
Being the Type A personality that I am, this was a little scary. Unfortunately, this has been a problem for me. I do trust in God. I do. He has come through for me in amazing ways many, many times. I also trust my children to learn. I see it happening all the time. I’m just so used to being in control of things. This is a sin, I know. I’m working on it.
So back to the trust…I’ve been reminding myself daily that this is what I need to do. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. And I’ve felt more peace than I have in a long time…but I still felt that something was missing.
Until last Sunday.
My pastor was preaching the message and referred to these verses- Commit your way to the Lord, Trust in Him, For He will act. – Psalm 37:5-6. And then it hit me… I was trying and trying to trust in the Lord, but it was still all about me. Do you see it? I was trying to trust so that I would have the peace that surpasses all understanding… I was counting on my trust to bring these things to fruition. I was still counting on myself, not God.
That’s why these verses hit me so hard…” …For He will act.” The Lord will act…my trust is not the be all and end all of this process- what God does through me is. And it doesn’t say He can act, and it doesn’t say He may act. It says He will act. There’s no question about it.
God will act. Now that’s something worth trusting in.