Why Should We Homeschool?- Part 9- Socialization

Yep, you read that right!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Does the title of today’s post surprise you? I know, I know. The #1 reason that so many people are leery about homeschooling is because of the whole “socialization” stigma. Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret…one of the main reasons I’ve chosen to homeschool is because of socialization.

Confused? Let’s think about this. Very often people with good intentions express concern that homeschooled children will not have any friends without meeting them in school. Since we all know by now- I hope- that this is not true, let’s dig a little further into this assertion.

Oftentimes, people will use this reason in order to express that they’re a little worried that your children just might not learn to be normal kids without learning from other kids their age how to do that.

I’m going to be honest here and say that I am astonished that people actually believe that the best place for your children to learn how to act is in a school. Really?

Have you seen how a great multitude of kids act these days?

I’m not talking about a little back-talking and a bit of teenage rebellion here. I’m talking:

  • A teenage pregnancy rate that is so high that countless high schools (including ours) now have in-house daycares for the children of their students
  • School fights being staged, recorded, and broadcast all over YouTube and Facebook so that these kids can get their 15 minutes of fame
  • A need for many high schools to employ police officers to patrol their hallways because of the high number of violent incidents committed by students
  • 4th graders who walk in front of my house on their way to school wearing mini-skirts (in school colors, of course), talking about their “boyfriends” with less than ladylike language
  • The high number of gangs that have infiltrated not only the schools, but the entire surrounding area
  • The current fad of “emo” kids waltzing around “vaping” and wearing long sleeves to hide the self-induced cuts going up and down their arms
  • Students who actually start petitions to get pro-life organizations to stop teaching their sex education classes for free because they want Planned Parenthood to do it, instead (I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know why they prefer PP)

I could continue on, but to save time, I’ll stop there because I’m sure you get the picture.

Having my children at home and out of that environment allows me to supervise the sort of friends my children have. I know who their friends are, where they live, and who their parents are. I know what sort of homes they come from, what values they are brought up with, and whether or not they can be trusted.

There’s no way that can happen in a school setting. You don’t know who your kids are talking to, what their friends are telling them, and what sort of environment these kids are coming from.

Not all of my kids’ friends come from Christian homes, and that is okay because they are all aware of our beliefs and have always been respectful of that. They are genuinely good kids, and I have the added bonus of actually getting to know them. If my kids were in school, there’s a good chance I would never have even met many of their friends.

I want to make it abundantly clear that I do not turn my nose up at the types of students I described above. I believe all of them are desperately in need of people who will help them, encourage them, and teach them that there is a better way.

But I firmly believe that that job does not belong to other impressionable kids in a virtually unsupervised school setting. No. Our job as parents is protect our children and raise them to be respectful and respectable.

Unfortunately, there are a good number of parents who aren’t holding up their end of the bargain.

So while my almost-12-yr-old makes paper dolls for her younger siblings, plays in the dirt, and is more concerned with Shopkins than makeup, I can only look on our decision to homeschool with gladness, because this is what “normal” looks like in our house.

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Author: Shelly Sangrey

I'm Shelly, a Christ-following, homeschooling Mom of eleven children ( okay, not ALL children. My oldest is 23.) I met my husband right after graduation, and we've been together ever since. Though my life can be hectic at times... okay, ALL the time, I wouldn't change it for anything.

30 thoughts on “Why Should We Homeschool?- Part 9- Socialization”

  1. I am not a hater of the Public, Private or traditional school model. Not every woman or man is able to homeschool, either by circumstances, being a single parent or seeking out the benefits of traditional school education. My son benefited greatly from aspects of public education. While I do like to think I was a great teacher for my kids, they did sacrifice to be home. Be mindful that public education is a necessity for many that could not get education and were limited by their circumstances and their parents limits. I for one went to private school based on scholarships and being the product of a single parent household it was a wonderful experience for me that gave me guidance into higher education. I do enjoy my kids having friends from all types and forms of learning, it broadens their mind, their group of friends and is a learning experience for them. They still choose homeschool each time – but also know what they wanted to experience with traditional education. Now, that I have a younger son that needed to be homeschool to prosper since he didn’t fit the mold for a ‘good student’ in the traditional or private school, I am so happy to have the choice to provide this for them – even as a working parent. It’s not easy, nor possible for many parents that have to have a job.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. While I make no secret of my dislike of government education, you’re so right that sometimes there are circumstances in which it is beneficial to children. I actually have that idea jotted down in my notebook for a future post. As for having friends of all types- that’s exactly what my children have, and public school wasn’t necessary for that. Thanks for your thoughtful comment!


  2. I think socialization is one of the weakest arguments against homeschooling! Generally speaking, homeschooled kids are much more positively “socialized” than their public school counterparts. Thanks for linking up at the High School Lesson Book!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I always laugh at the socialization myth. Our kids actually socialized better because they were around not JUST their peers, but the elderly, the very young (babysitting), other adults, and kids from all walks of life at church and work. They learned how to hold conversations with adults instead of wishing they had another 14 year old to talk to.

    Once again, you’ve got my vote, gal. LOVED this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Whenever people bring this up to me, I say, “When my children grow up and get a job, are they going to be working with people who are only their age and from the same neighborhood?” That usually makes them think!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. socialization is a weak argument I have had my children in public school and decided to home school. There are more than peers and friends in public schools there are bullies as well. This type of socialization had my child withdrawing from life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad your child no longer has to deal with that. I had children in public school for several years, as well, and I know firsthand the bullying that can happen. Thanks for commenting!


  5. Great article. My daughter and I are able to do so much more since we home school. She travels with me to book festivals and book fairs to other states, something she couldn’t do in regular school. She joins me at cook book club once a month where we each bring our own dish and recipe to share. And we take a lot more field trips. In each of these places she meets other children and adults she would not have normally met. She is also in choir since we home school through the Independent Studies Program of a private Christian school. She has regular play dates with home school friends, former classmates, and friends from the local farmers’ market that I manage. Both her and her friend Katie make and sell products at the market. I’d say my child is probably more social and well rounded compared to most.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely. Instead of only learning to be around kids their age, homeschooled kids have the opportunity to be around people of all ages and from all walks of life. To me, that is what proper socialization should look like.


  6. I agree with you wholeheartedly and am always a little baffled by the socialization argument against homeschooling as it has always seemed like more of an argument FOR homeschooling than against it to me too! Thanks for sharing this post at Lifelong Learners Link-up Party at DesperateHomeschoolers.com!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m a mom of 4 and have been homeschooling for 4 years. It’s been frustrating and great at the same time. Our two older kids were in public school for a couple years before we pulled them. We are not at the same grade level as they would be if they were still in public school due to different learning styles/difficulties!! How do you handle the “what grade are you in?” question if you’re more on the unschooling path?

    Liked by 1 person

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